San Diego Celebrations
This season we are starting off with a series all about finding goodness in the absolutely ordinary, mundane, and sometimes difficult moments of life.
Honestly, I use to be such a skeptic of seeing goodness in life. Along the way I noticed a pattern. When I traveled more it took me out of my comfort zone. When I got uncomfortable, I saw new things all around me. Newness often lends itself to goodness.
In the newness of traveling I ended up awe struck by the beauty and goodness in the simplest moments away from home.
At first, I would tear up on plane rides home. I did not want to leave the goodness behind. I sure did not want to return to the mundane moments at home that did not fill me with joy. At some point I started asking myself, “How do I bring the goodness back home with me?” This question changed everything.
This series is all about the simple moments from afar that I packed up like souvenirs and brought back to Kansas with me. May these souvenirs help each of us to see some goodness right where we are today. May these souvenirs bring reflections that build steady joy.
Today, we are reflecting on celebrations. Are you someone who loves them or hates them? Small celebrations, big celebrations, or none at all?
Typically, I’m a “none at all” kind of girl. Here I am at 36, realizing maybe there’s a different way to look at celebrations. Maybe I can find some joy in them vs full on annoyance. Come with me to sunny California.
It’s April of 2017. I am at a work conference in San Diego. I stand outside the Sheraton Hotel with my coworkers all waiting for their Uber rides to go to dinner. We look up at the next car pulling into the drive. I smile as the trusty ole pearly white Cadillac pulls up with the license plate that reads “Krmudgeon.”
I will forever remember being a little girl and asking my dad, “What does that word mean?”
He would chuckle and say something about an old grouchy mean person. I was so confused as to why my grandpa Bill would want that word on his car.
As my coworkers stood outside the Sheraton and read that same license plate they too were confused. When the ole Cadi parked, out came this man with a huge smile, a bear hug, and so much enthusiasm for life. He was anything but a curmudgeon. You could tell that within five seconds of meeting him. He and my grandma whisked me away in the pearly white cadi for a dinner date in the city they called home.
Two years earlier, In 2015, that is when I started attending this annual work conference. Which meant I would get an annual San Diego dinner date with my grandparents. It was then in my late twenties that I realized the official level of cool my grandparents exuded.
You see, I would email them my itinerary and hotel location so my grandma Ouida could do all of her research into the best restaurants around. When I got their email reply I read through their message and that’s when i saw it. They signed their emails with one name.
We’re talking the status of famous people here! Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie as “Brangelina.” Ben Affleck and Jennifer Aniston as “Bennifer.” My Grandma Ouida and Grandpa Bill as “OuiNWil.” One word. One name. I sat in awe of how cool my grandparents are.
When I saw that name “OuiNWil”, I again thought, this is no curmudgeon. Even as an adult I was still learning so much about my grandparents and their life in San Diego.
One thing became evident very quickly. My Grandpa Bill loved celebrating life and the people around him. On one of these annual San Diego dates I had recently earned my Masters Degree. Let me tell you how everyone in that restaurant knew what he was celebrating!
As a matter of fact, everyone inside and outside the restaurant knew. Originally we were seated at a table outside on the deck over looking the bay. It was a bit chilly so he requested the best seat in the house, the corner table with the windows over looking the bay.
He then had the opportunity to announce to everyone eating on the deck, “My granddaughter has arrived to town and she earned her masters degree!”
The wait staff, the people at the bar, and the people eating inside all got the same announcement. His joy and laughter grew as the waiter brought us a bottle of champagne courtesy of a table nearby. We ended dinner with a special dessert on the house with chocolate sauce spelling out “Congratulations.”
I am not one for a lot of attention or hoopla. At this point, in my twenties I still did not believe in celebrations of any kind, especially celebrations for me. I was blushing the dinner. It only took one glass of champagne for me to realize how much I loved watching my Grandpa Bill embrace celebrating me.
No curmudgeon could possibly live their life this way, with so much joy celebrating others.
Recently in April of 2022, I wrote this memory down as part of his eulogy. 93 years old and he had lived life full of celebrating the big and small things. He found a way to unpack those souvenirs of goodness each and every day until his dying day.
As my family commemorated his life in April, I was also getting ready to celebrate a class of senior high school students that I had known for three years. As I was planning a celebration for them it dawned on me. My very un-curmudgeonly curmudgeon grandpa had innately taught me a thing or two.
I ordered 26 blue and white metal water bottles, our school colors, and tied ribbons around them. Then clipped a simple black ink pen to hang from the ribbon on each water bottle. Why?
Well, this had become the simple celebration all year long for these seniors. It started early their senior year when I confessed to them, “I am not great at celebrating…well, anything. It’s why I push you so hard and skip over the food days you always ask for and birthday celebrations you want to do.” I also confessed to them I wanted to celebrate more. More of the small wins and the big moments their Senior year. I knew building a culture of celebrating each other would help get us through the year together, in one piece. When some of them wanted to quit the others would not let them. They would celebrate the little wins, working their way up to the big win of graduation and beyond.
Early in the school year I asked them, “What is something good that happened this week?”
Silence. Awkward eye contact.
Then a girl raised her hand and cautiously shared that she was not failing her math class.
The class started clapping and laughing…because they wondered, “is it ok to celebrate barely passing?” To which I exclaimed “Yes! This is great news!”
Another student raised their hand and offered a simple shift and small change they had made.
Claps again, and one of the boys picked up his metal water bottle and clanged his pen against it like a cowbell of some sort.
From that moment on, whenever we did simple celebrations we would call out for this student to “Give us a clang!” as the rest of the class clapped and snapped and hollered while he clanged his metal water bottle loud and clear.
You know what it did? It helped this class remember the small wins each and every day. It helped them build up joy and confidence to the even bigger things.
My grandpa did this for me. He helped build up my joy and confidence in making me remember the little sacrifices and steps I made over the years that led to my masters degree. Even to this day, in his absence, he helps me move forward when it feels like I’m not strong enough for the next step. Because he helped me embrace celebrating my own wins, he has taught me how to more fully embrace celebrating others. This is a legacy worth passing on.
From one girl who use to vote “no celebrations at all” please and thank you. Let me shake off my own curmudgeonly attitude about celebrations. I’ll leave you with this…
Celebrations are not always self-indulgent or self-seeking.
We were made to celebrate others and cheer them on. If we want to celebrate others well, we must make space to celebrate our own small or big wins in life. I had to travel to California and back again to figure this out.
I wish we could all sit at the corner table over looking the bay together. Instead I’ll leave you with this souvenir of reflection…
How are you celebrating others and celebrating your own little wins with others?
I would seriously love to hear your answers. Feel free to connect with me on Instagram @bnoelleliving or send me an email with your celebration!
