In My Skin, I Am Free
Welcome my friend & mentor Priscila Smith. Read her story of the freedom she found in the body she finally embraced.
I’ve always been a confident person. Full of opinions, with a bold sense of my personal style. My parents encouraged us – me and my sisters – to think for ourselves, to express ourselves fully.
It was a surprise to me, when I found myself in a major rut years later. I was in a dressing room at Zara, after giving birth to my first baby five weeks prior. I remember telling my mom I didn’t feel like myself in any of the outfits I put together. A major red flag for a girl who was once a fashion major and had always known how to create sheer masterpiece outfits out of her sister’s hand-me-downs.
My mom insisted I buy a fresh pair of jeans. I was still sporting my maternity jeans, patiently waiting to “get my body back”.
But mom said I would feel better in pants that actually button.
Guess what, mom was right. Turns out my body had never left. I didn’t need to get it back, I just needed to wear the right pants. I walked out of that dressing room more confident in my skin than I had in months.
You see, the year leading up to my baby’s birth had been one full of transition. I went from being an established ESL teacher to a language student in a foreign country. An active member of my friend community to starting friendships from scratch. I went from being a young married woman to a first-time mama in a foreign country, with no family around, no community. I was so in my head and in my feelings those days.
I forgot to live in my skin.
After that dressing room epiphany, I started to use my style as a guide. If my style was feeling wonky, that meant I hadn’t been paying close attention to my insides. I am not super great with feelings and emotions, hadn’t always be attuned to them. I started using my sense of fashion to lead me inward.
A few years later, I found myself in a very similar spot. This time I just had my second child. I started to notice I kept reaching for the same three pieces in my closet, feeling completely uninspired. This time I knew – one of the first steps to help me out of a rut was to take a good look in my closet.
That’s still how I notice if I am being fully aligned with who I am. If I am living in my purpose. I notice how I feel when I get dressed. What outfits am I putting together?
I do a full closet edit, I get rid of things that no longer fit or no longer make sense for the stage in my life. I purchase pants that actually button. It’s a good starting point. Other pivotal questions for me when I notice I am in a rut are: Are you eating well? Resting well? Hydrating? Exercising? Are you feeding your soul with what makes it come alive? Are you noticing beauty? That’s when we come back to style again. If I am feeling uninspired, more often than not it’s because I haven’t been tending to my soul with the things that make it come alive.
To live in my skin, to fully embody it and embrace it, is to wear my favorite faux fur coat even if everyone else is in their Patagonia fleece.
To live in my skin is to pursue my life’s purpose, show up for my people fully and not hide my true feelings about Pumpkin Spice or casseroles (you’re better off not asking).
I feel my very best when my skincare is on point, my outfit is a full expression of my mood, and I am spending time feeding truth to my soul.
Remember to live in the skin you have. No one else can do that for you.
Wear the right pink dress that makes you smile, yes, pair it with the sneakers even though it’s not how everyone does it. Embrace the skin you’re in, darling.
P.S. to the girl in the dressing room that day: buy the pants that fit. Don’t keep waiting and trying to shrink into pants – or a life – that you have long outgrown.
P.P.S. Side note, I love Patagonia as a company and absolutely stand for what they do. I am just not particularly a fleece person in case I didn’t make that clear.
You can find more from Priscila on Instagram.
She’s the most encouraging visual storyteller a girl could follow!
