In My Skin, I Am Seen
Welcome my friend Faith Griffin. We go all the way back to high school and life has graciously brought us back together through our writing passions. Read Faith’s honest story of how she feels in her skin. She presents a great question, what does it mean to embrace being seen?
I’ve spent most of my adult life avoiding being seen. I wouldn’t necessarily call it being shy or introverted, although, I am at times. It is more of a fear that people will figure me out. They’ll finally know I’m not as “together” as they think I am.
People have called me level-headed, patient and calm, but underneath I’m an empath desperately trying to hold it together. I care about too many things at once. I care about how our last conversation ended if I smiled when you said hello, and if I showed enough enthusiasm when you shared exciting news. I care about giving eye contact and saying thank you when someone holds the door open for me. I care about making sure my wave is seen by the driver behind me who let me in the lane.
I care about my outer appearance—not in regards to how great I may look, but by how well I can blend in. I’d rather not put myself in a position to be measured and critiqued.
I first heard “Oh, that’s just Faith” in middle school. I didn’t have a set group of friends. I was a wanderer. I got along with basically everyone. I was quiet and somewhat of a nerd that no one really minded being around. At one particular lunch, there was some heavy duty middle school drama going on. The group of girls I happened to be standing with wanted to discuss the juicy details. As one of the girls begins to spill the tea, another girl says, “Hold on. Faith is here.” That’s when the leader of the pack says, “Oh, that’s just Faith. She won’t say anything.”
From then on, I felt that it was a privilege and somewhat of a strange honor to blend in and not cause any unnecessary attention. That frame of thought translated into other areas of my life, even when it came to my dreams.
It wasn’t until recently that I’ve been flirting with the idea that it’s okay to be seen. One of my passions is singing and songwriting. I’ve sung my entire life, even went to school for music, but never wanted to sing a song in front of an audience. I’ve written several songs for the sole purpose of someone else singing them. It seems like I didn’t want to be seen or heard. I was so resistant that I didn’t realize the only person I was hiding from was myself.
Feeling totally comfortable with myself is a process that I am currently undertaking. The process calls for a whole lot of self-love and intentional self-appreciation. It also calls for a lot of self-attention. I can no longer ignore, hide, and silence myself. As we’ve all learned this year, life is way too precious to not live it fully.
Stepping outside of my comfort zone has been surprisingly fun. It has caused me to step back into the realm of music, which wasn’t one of my 2020 goals. Actually, when Covid-19 hit, I had no other goal than to not lose my mind. But somehow tragedy seems to bring about beauty in our lives along with a timely awakening. This year has allowed me to step out a little further from my shadow, and for that I am grateful.
In my skin, I am seen. I recognize and accept that I am an extension of God, made in His image, beautifully and wonderfully made.
I’m starting to believe it’s okay for others to see that.
Find more from Faith Griffin on Instagram. You won’t regret following along with her encouraging words. They refocus your eyes and anchor your heart to the truth.
