Fighting & Finding Rest

“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul.” Psalm 23:1-3a

The hum of the ceiling fan whirs above. Standing in the dark room cradling my one-year-old nephew, I sway back and forth. His little body tenses, straining against my chest, refusing to rest. His tears soak my shirt as waves of  “shhhhhh” wash over him. How can someone so tired not rest?

Here I am trying to make my nephew rest. For all that is good in the world, he must rest! One more meltdown might send everyone over the edge. It’s best for him. He fights against it.

I realize, currently, I am tensing and straining against God. He tries to make me lie down in green pastures. He tries to restore my soul. He knows it’s best; yet, I fight against him, insisting I can’t find rest.

Something so sweet sits at our fingertips; yet, it’s just out of reach. Perhaps we’re used to the busyness of life. We forget slowing down is an actual speed. It’s real. It’s good. Perhaps we’re used to loss and hardship. We doubt places like green pastures exist and are meant for us. We’re used to the dry and barren fields or rocky paths. Perhaps we worry about what’s next. We forget to slow down and enjoy the process.

Rest does not come naturally to most. So, how do we find it, instead of fight it?

Jeremiah 6:16 mentions two strategies. First, we stand, look, and ask. These three verbs help us find stillness and hope. Stillness disrupts life’s habitual rhythms. We pause by the road looking for the good and righteous path towards rest. Sometimes we strain our eyes, unable to see any sign of it; then vulnerably we ask for rest. Asking admits our limitations and needs. It recognizes His ability to provide what we can’t.

Second, the Lord says to walk and find rest. Even when we don’t see rest, even after we ask, we still move forward. Our planted feet begin to walk in trust. If we remain standing and looking, we become paralyzed. We miss laying down in the green pasture our shepherd sees ahead. His vision reaches farther than ours ever will. He can see what we cannot, so he leads us in our search to find rest. Searching entails an indirect path; it’s a process of dead ends and frustrating attempts. However, His process comes with a promise of restoration.

Like my nephew, we eventually give ourselves over to stillness. Our worn and tear-soaked selves relax in God’s strong arms with a hope of experiencing rest. It’s a process He shepherds us through. We stand in stillness, look with expectation, ask even in doubt, walk in new patterns, and find rest for our souls. This rest satisfies; it is enough. Let’s quit fighting, and start finding rest in the Lord’s process.